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We begin by learning that the fabled gods of old do exist, and that Zeus (Sean Bean) is especially mad at brother Poseidon (Kevin McKidd). Seems the head hocho's magical lightning bolt has been stolen, and each accuses the other of using the crime as a means of starting an all out Olympian war. Zeus specifically believes that Poseidon's son, Percy Jackson (Logan Lerman) is the one responsible, and soon, all the various creatures of myth -- harpies, centaurs, minotaurs, and hydras -- are after the unsuspecting teen.
When he learns of his lineage from his mother Sally (Catherine Keener), he teams up with half-man, half goat protector Grover (Brandon T. Jackson), the battle skilled daughter of Athena, Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario) and mentor Chiron (Pierce Brosnon) to take on Medusa (Uma Thurman), Hades (Steve Coogan), Persephone (Rosario Dawson), and the clashing forces of these timeless titans, all in the name of uncovering the real crook.
Comprised of five main volumes and three supplemental companion books, Rick Riordan's popular young people's series should be an easy sell for any studio. It has heroes and villains, monsters and sprites, wish fulfillment and epic feats of magic and courage. It taps into every high schooler's literary reference points (unless Edith Hamilton's classic tome is no longer part of the post-modern curriculum) while presenting the uninitiated with a wonderful set of seminal characters to champion and root for.
So why then does Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief, come across as slapdash? Why does it feel rushed and strung together? We barely settle in to the story before our demi-god in training is attacked on a field trip, whisked off to Camp Half Blood, and is doing his best Theseus impression (look it up). Toss in some more CG beasties, a way too short cameo by Ms. Thurman as everyone's favorite serpent-headed gorgon, a gratuitous music montage to Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face' and you've got a film that is desperate to balance the needs of folklore with the demands of a contemporary demographic.
That might explain Brandon T. Jackson, who literally redefines the sentiment 'a little goes a long way.' In his case, the savvy satyr overstays his welcome right up front, and then settles in for even more cloying aggravation. With him, everything has to have a cool and smarty-pants comeback, from bribing the Ferryman for a trip up the river Styx to line dancing in an enchanted Las Vegas casino. Luckily, Lerman and Daddario more than compensate for their co-stars one-liner limitations. Even smaller moments with Coogan, Dawson, and Bean are better than expected.
Indeed, had Columbus more time and a larger budget to really expand his vision, Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief might have been the beginning of a fun and financially viable franchise. There is surely enough good here to warrant revisiting the rest of Riordan's sprawling tale. Hopefully, the next time around, they will take their time and treat the material with the reverence -- and sure sense of quip-less wonder -- it deserves.
