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Ninja Assassin

Ninja Assassin

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David Dylan Thomas
I'm in ur screening, critiquing ur subtext.
Ninja Assassin opens with a scene of such unmitigated gore as to classify itself more as splatter film than action flick. As it progresses, it develops into more of the latter without ever becoming good at either genre, growing as generic and redundant as its title.

After the aforementioned scene, in which a yakuza gang is laid waste by a lone ninja (possibly more, since not being seen is kind of their thing), we meet Europol researcher Mika (Naomie Harris), who is trying to convince her boss (Ben Miles) that ninjas exist and still carry out hits. As her investigation deepens, we meet Raizo (Rain), a mystery man who appears to spend most of his time engaged in brutal training (doing handstands on a bed of needles, for example) or staring off into space remembering his far more brutal training as a boy at the hands of evil ninja master Ozunu (Sho Kosugi) at an academy where orphans are forced to become assassins.

Mika's investigation bears fruit -- the kind of fruit that comes and tries to kill you in the night because you're getting too close. Luckily, Raizo saves her at the last minute. Turns out he's out to stop the very clan she's investigating and, as a former member, is well equipped to do so. What follows is a fairly rudimentary exercise in run-from-the-bad-guys-until-it's-time-to-fight-the-bad-guys action cinema.

One could excuse Assassin's lack of originality if it could at least deliver the blades n' blood goods in a compelling way. Instead it manages to recycle the few interesting scenarios it creates. SWAT teams versus ninjas is interesting the first time, but becomes tired quickly. And a nifty action sequence in which we see a ninja fight lit only by flashlight is entertaining -- until the exact same shtick gets repeated later in the film. That said, watching ninjas appear as if from nowhere never gets old.

The performances do little to help matters. Korean pop star Rain doesn't display any of the magnetism that presumably made him a star in the first place, instead turning in a performance best described as Keanu-esque. Harris is equally flat, and Miles, while appearing to have a heartbeat, is given little to do. Kosugi, a ninja flick vet, makes for a competent villain, but can't be expected to carry the entire movie by himself.

James McTeigue's direction seems miles away from the discipline he showed in V for Vendetta. His work here isn't so much sloppy as uninspired. And while adopting a splatter aesthetic for an action film might seem like a novel idea in this case -- after all, ninjas can kill in fairly gruesome ways, so the ninja-as-slasher angle has some bite -- the result is more annoying that exciting. And if the goal is to pay homage to the fairly bloody ninja films of yore, as in the climax of Kill Bill: Vol. 1, that mark, too, is missed. Instead, we get what may be fairly intricate fight choreography obscured by terabytes of digital blood.

Uncertain of what it wants to be, Ninja Assassin will likely disappoint action fans with excessive CGI gore, and gore fans with excessive uninspired action. Somewhat ironic, for a film with such a blunt title.

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The DVD includes deleted scenes.

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