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Porky's

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Christopher Null
Christopher Null founded Filmcritic.com in 1995.
Does anyone even remember what Porky's is about? The movie's story (as it is) has become a punchline that sex comedies are compared to. But what's it about? Name one character. OK, besides Pee Wee (the irrepressible Dan Monahan). And Porky, of course. His name's in the title.

I'm willing to bet most people don't even remember Porky as a person at all. For the amnesiacs out there (and given the overally quality of Porky's, you're forgiven for that), Porky is a fat guy that runs a sort of night club/strip joint/brothel on the edge of the movie's small Florida town. (It was filmed in Fort Lauderdale.) At the local high school, we meet a bunch of guys. There's Pee Wee and the burley Meat, plus frat-boys-in-the-making Billy, Tommy, Mickey, and, uh... you get the picture.

In what is actually a very small aspect of the film, the boys decide to visit Porky's in their endless quest to get laid. Porky knows they're underage, of course, and rather than give them the whores they want, he dumps them into the river through a clever trap door. At the end of the film, the boys get their revenge by destroying Porky's establishment altogether.

That's the plot. The rest of the film is a series of unrelated scenes involving the usual sexcapades we've come to expect from these types of movies. Namely things involving naked rear ends and odd fluids. The film is probably remembered, however, solely for one genius (yet awfully crude) prank involving peepholes in the girls' shower stall. One of our heroes elects to insert his member into the hole, which is then set up violently by the angry, oversized girls' PE coach, Balbricker (the late Nancy Parsons).

Did I mention Kim Cattrall is in the film?

The Porky's series got off to a rocky start and, two sequels and a video game (seriously) later, it ended up scraping rock bottom. Best to ignore the sequels that followed (Porky's II sees the lads taking on the KKK, believe it or not), and leave the lackluster original as your sole exposure to this low-budget celebration of filth.

If you're unconvinced, a three-disc 'ultimate collection' set including all of the movies, plus bonus features, is now available.

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