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River of No Return

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Christopher Null
Christopher Null founded Filmcritic.com in 1995.
Marilyn's western. You can still hear her complaining about the working conditions.

Robert Mitchum drags saloon singer Marilyn and a young boy (Tommy Rettig), his son, along the titular, treacherous river, as he seeks vengeance against the guy (Rory Calhoun) who burned down his cabin. And the guy happens to be Marilyn's husband!

Incidents along the ride downriver are fairly typical of the genre -- a cougar, Indians, the scheming femme fatale -- and of course the leads fall in love when they aren't singing (that's Mitchum crooning the title track.) The lovely scenery is unfortunately broken by some awful rear-projection effects, with Mitchum and Monroe piloting a raft that's clearly on the backs of a bunch of grips -- while a production assistant splashes them with water.

Oddly, it's the appearance of Rettig's sidekick kid that makes the film sort of worth watching, even though his dialogue is hilariously out of character.

Featured as part of the restored set of Monroe classics in The Diamond Collection II (see links at right).

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