Impossible to properly describe, critique, or even relive in your mind, The Underground Comedy Movie (often seen advertised after hours on Comedy Central). A series of unrelated vignettes in the style of The Kentucky Fried Movie, The Underground Comedy Movie is a crass, disgusting, and vile re-creation of a late-1980s cable TV access show, small bits of film that cut in and out haphazardly and without any sense of pacing.

And we are all the worse for it. With scenes of shitting supermodels, a blubbering "virgin hunter," and even a Godfather spoof starring Joey Buttafuoco, terming this as "comedy" is a real stretch. At its lowest point, Underground is wholly unwatchable, most notably during a vignette in which an Arnold Schwarzenegger type has sex with a faux corpse.

The sole spot in this film which could be conceivably be seen as funny is a homeless woman beauty pageant, emceed by Guns 'N' Roses' Slash. More pathetic than hilarious, I at least appreciate the effort it took to get bag ladies in swimsuits.

Filmmaker Vince Offer claims his movie is "guaranteed to offend," and he's right. Disgust is a better term, but we needn't split hairs: If you're looking for the ultimate movie to clear your house of partygoers who don't know when to leave, look no further than this DVD.