Any more of that brooding atmosphere and I might have to strangle myself. I don't know how Michael Douglas does it, much less manage to keep himself alive and kicking through two hours of torment, all of which may or may not be a fantasy "game" his brother (Sean Penn) has enrolled him in. Douglas plays an uber-rich tycoon who has everything he could want and is bored to tears with all of it. When kid brother promises the game will fill in what's lacking in his life, Mikie finds himself drawn to it, and a labyrinthine all-too-realistic game of murder, deceit, and betrayal begins. Set in my newly adopted home of San Francisco, I find this city full enough of intrigue even without machine gun-toting assassins and attack dogs chasing me around back alleys. And I can't imagine what I'd do if a cabbie drove us into San Francisco Bay... but I suppose that's why you have to watch the movie.

As a thriller, The Game is the work of a craftsman (Seven director David Fincher), but be warned: don't even try to think much about the plot lest it break down before your very eyes. Instead, just think to yourself, "don't ever let this happen to me." You'll thank me later.