From the exciting and rapdily growing genre of accounting thrillers comes Quicksand, a direct to video dud that belies the muddy careers of Michaels Keaton and Caine.

The eye-rolling setup gives us a banker (Keaton), who is sent off to Europe to check up on a film production his bank is backing. (Caine is the star of this film within a film.) Barely a day passes before a government official gets shot, and wouldn't you know it, Keaton is holding the rifle like a patsy. He goes on the run, with the crooks and the corrupt cops all after him. Keaton goes to outrageous lengths -- we're talking costumes, we're talking hiding in a vat of grease -- to evade capture, and eventually he hooks up with Caine and another film employee (Judith Godrèche, the requisite no-name femme fatale) to prove his innocence and out the real killers.

Yadda yadda yadda... throw in a kidnapped child (no way that kid is related to Keaton) and you've got the formula for what looks like a made-for-TNT flick shot in Slovakia on the cheap. Even fans of either Michael will find themselves alternately confused and bored out of their skulls.