Forget Harry Potter, what the world really wants is a snowboarding movie! Relentlessly smirking and overindulgent, Out Cold generates nothing particularly special that your average teen-oriented farce hasn't done before. Distracting and hopelessly mockish, this film draws its inspiration from predecessors that range from classic cut-up comedies like Caddyshack to the celebrated crude antics of the American Pie series. Co-directors Emmett and Brendan Malloy, whose previous experience includes both commercials and music videos, conjure up an empty-headed vehicle where chasing babes and saving the local Alaskan ski resort makes for 90 minutes of "entertainment." The direction is pedestrian at best, and the laughs are little more than sporadic, nervous chuckles. For those who thought the ski movie genre would eventually peter out, Out Cold sadly reminds you how mistaken you are.

The setting takes place on Alaska’s Bull Mountain. It is the snowy wonderland where snowboarding and partying are the only two facets of life. Among the enthusiastic visitors are a group of buddies headed up by four-time King of the Hill snowboarding champ Rick (Jason London). His fellow snowboarders are Luke (Zach Galifianakis), Anthony (Flex Alexander), and Pig Pen (Derek Hamilton). When these pals aren’t working their thankless jobs at Bull Mountain, they’re gliding over the snow and hanging out between runs. In fact, they even want to develop a snowboarding business atop their beloved Bull Mountain some day. Nice dream, but things start to go downhill when a kink in their plan develops.

Enter wily Colorado ski mogul Jack Majors (Lee Majors). The unctuous businessman comes popping into town with the prospect of purchasing the mountain. Majors schemes to turn the rollicking site into a stuffy Starbucks/tofu joint. Suddenly, the late founder of the town, Papa Muntz, dies, leaving the family fortune to surviving son Ted (Willie Garson). Hence, Ted options to sell the mountain to opportunistic developer Majors much to the dismay of the free-wheeling gang. Will the slick-dealing Jack Majors turn Bull Mountain into a yuppy coffee-sipping country club or will the guys reclaim this place as the reliable center of raucous recreation? Meanwhile, hormones rage, as Majors’s knockout, Swiss stepdaughter Inga (Victoria Silvstedt, a former Playboy Playmate of the Year) and Anna (Caroline Dhavernas), Inga’s French half sister, enter the picture.

Out Cold borrows heavily from such masterworks as Hot Dog... The Movie and Ski School, but unlike those films, the filmmaking Malloy brothers never truly let their movie bask in the outrageous glow of their subject matter. The film doesn’t know whether it wants to showcase the sport of snowboarding or just use it as a backdrop for its sophomorics. The movie goes through this great length to feature professional snowboarders in cameos, and the cinematography is surprisingly picturesque. However, the Malloys fail to adequately capitalize on developing or enhancing the snowboarding aspect of their storyline. Instead the film comes off as a Farrelly brothers knockoff. And there's the plot: Misfits versus the establishment? It doesn't get more '80s than that. And the movie’s occasional nods to Casablanca are almost insulting.

Editor's Note: Well I liked this movie more than, well, more than about anybody. It's no masterpiece, but I have to say I laughed out loud more than once. London and Galifianakis are great heroes, and Lee Majors is a riot. The DVD is packed with a commentary track (who'd a thunk!? -- even including their grandmother ("I think it was pretty funny...")), deleted scenes, and a couple of making-of documentaries. Not bad, and worth a rental to get you in the mood for an upcoming ski trip.



Is it itchy in here or is it just you?