Fan Mail Page 2...
Some favorites and a few love letters... Spreading the Word One Sticker at a Time "Do you mind if we use your quote "worst film ever" (Deadly Scavengers) for a sticker on the front of the DVD?" - Clint Weiler, Director of Publicity, Eclectic DVD Distribution Seriously: For Real, Totally True, Not Joking "You dehumanized my character when you wrote, "The best guffaws come from scenes involving Zoe falling down and (seriously) a dwarf getting water dumped on his head." What exactly do you mean by (seriously)? You ridicule people with dwarfism and you promote the damaging stereotype that dwarfs are not people but funny things to be mocked." - Ricardo Gil (www.ricardogil.com), co-star of Cherish Letter From a Real Pill "Obviously you haven't seen much of Alison Pill's work. Her off the wall characters both on and off screen keep everyone around her elated. Just ask the likes of Sissy Spacek, Eliszabeth Perkins, Peter Hedges, Oliver Platt, Glenn Close and on and on." - Barbara Pill (presumedly the mother of Alison Pill) It Isn't Called CreditSequenceCritic.com "In your review of Signs you stated, 'After one of the worst examples of opening credits I've ever seen and a lengthy and misleading exposition, I was ready to give up on Signs altogether.' Thats a pretty bold statement that you fail to explain in your review. I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so you can think whatever you want about the Signs title. I just want to know what it was that you didn't like about it. I was the designer/animator and I am very proud of my work on Signs. I've done several film title sequences and found the Signs title to be one of my favorite. I'm not trying to call you out or anything, I would just appreciate the feedback." - Josh Novak, The Picture Mill, Title Designer for Signs Climb Every Mountain "Christopher: Just got done reading your review of The Climb, which I directed. Thanks for being fair, and a lot less brutal than I expected. I usually read secular reviews of our films with fear and trepidation, because few seem to "get it"--drama that deals with the subject of faith and God in movies. Although I admit introducing these elements is a tricky maneuver, based on the amount of positive response we receive, people are hungry for it in this day and age. We're certainly working hard to improve our delivery, and not hit people over the head with issues involving our favorite Subject: "J.C." Thanks for writing that The Climb is something [Christians]* should be proud of. That made my day. *[Hopefully, someday, we'll earn a different reputation than "ultra-religious right". Yuck.]" - John Schmidt, director of The Climb Just Peechy "Please spell my name correctly in your reviews; MIRIAM MARGOLYES Thanks - MM" - Miriam Margolyes, star of James and the Giant Peach A Shiner on Us "Dear Mr Null, I enjoyed your review of Shine. However I was distressed to learn that there was a problem with the sound. I've seen the film numerous times, recently at the The Academy (AMPAS) theatre in Los Angeles. The sound is exquisite. Shine also won the AFI award (ozzie oscar) for best sound. You may find the problem was with the sound in the theatre where you viewed the film. Roger Savage, the sound engineer, is one of the best in the world. If you saw it at a local screening in your town, perhaps someone should tell the theatre their Dolby probably needs attention. Thanks for the four stars." - Jan Sardi, screenwriter of Shine (Sardi was right) And the Oscar Goes to... The Evening Star! "You might want to consider that nobody sets out to make a bad film. Your caustic tone has no place in real criticism. You like so many others have tabloid-ized reviewing America's most enduring popular culture. You feed off of the backs of artists. I challenge you to consider that the first time director you ripped apart in Evening Star is the film maker of the future. Who knows what he has to offer. People like you have the potential to crush the creative spirit. Why don't you dig down and give the guy something to keep him going. Do you know how much people risk emotionally to put their work out there? How would you have liked your first review to have been held to the same standard of say Walter Kerr or Frank Rich? Tell you what, next film you review, why don't you look a little deeper than your average, shallow attempts, and consider things like theme, social context and Character. Consider the feelings of the people who have spent years of their lives on something, motivated solely with the hope of pleasing people like you. P.S. As a student of film I do take certain pleasure in the knowledge that our films long outlive the reviews. P.P.S. You thoughtlessly shredded my first feature film as well." - Todd Robinson, screenwriter of White Squall On Cottage Cheese and Diet Coke Chris, you sad little parasite. I would like you to answer a few questions, if it won't take you away from the very important work that you're doing. 1.) How did you happen to see my film? It isn't released yet. 2.) What, do you feel, qualifies you as a movie critic? 3.) What qualifies anybody as a movie critic? 4.) Have you ever attempted to create anything of your own? A screenplay? An actual film? A puppet show even? Or are you too busy sitting on the bag of cottage cheese you use for an ass and sucking down twelve-packs of diet coke in front of your computer altar and doling out your sage advice to those of us who haven't reached the heights you have? 5.) Do you revere the internet as a device which allows previously unnoticed trolls such as yourself to waddle out from under their bridge of uselesness and feel they are contributing to society in some pathetic way? 6.) Do you agree with the popular theory that critics are doomed to sit on the sidelines as disgruntled observers, jealously slandering those people who have the guts to achieve what the critic can only dream about? 7.) Is "presumedly" a word? Or did you and your crack team of geniuses at Critics 'R Us mean to say "presumably"? 8.) If you feel that my movie wasted 77 minutes of your life, why would waste another 15 minutes writing a critique about it? 9.) What are your five favorite and five least favorite films? I would appreciate honest answers to all of these questions. - Kent Dalian, director of Fish In A Barrel Dank Reek of Opium My all-time best fan letter to The Austin Chronicle. Scroll down to heading 'Dank Reek of Opium' and bask in the glory. You Get All the Credit Now "Just saw your review of my film, Picking Up The Pieces. Can't say I completely disagree with it. One thing, though: Alfonso and his assistant, Mimi, were merely two of the four "Executive Producers." I packaged and set up the film, and am the only "Producer." Perhaps you would be so kind as to correct your records. Thanks," - Paul Sandberg, Producer, Picking Up The Pieces Requiem For a Direct-to-Video Release, Part 1 "Dear Christopher, I just read your review of the movie I wrote. All i can say is... Thanks for sitting all the way through it." "Let me tell you how good a sport I am. This is the first movie I've had produced and I sat and watched it with my entire family, mom, Dad, Aunts, sisters, family friends, while my sister was in the hospital. You can only imagine how I felt. But they're family so they only said nice things. As a matter of fact you weren't mean at all, just honest. Take care." - Erik Tomakin, Screenwriter of Tell Me No Lies Requiem For a Direct-to-Video Release, Part 2 "Yo, I'm the Director of that pretty bad film, ok, piece of shit film, Tell Me No Lies...I just wanted to let you know you were right with your judgement...but hey, this was done in 9 days, fuck no money, no preparation, total improvisation and I was clueless as a first time director...anyway I stop for the fucking lame escuses but promise to strike better next time (kind of hard to do worse anyway, right?!).... All my best wishes to you, Keep Raging on Bad Movies!" - Emmanuel Itier, Director of Tell Me No Lies Bully For You, Steve "Hello Christopher. Thank you for the glowing review of our movie Bully. It was indeed a great challenge to make this film (22 days in a sweltering Floridian August, of which 2 were rained out), and I thought you might like to hear my feelings on a few of your comments. Larry and I viewed some of his favorite pics before filming began, and the two that he felt best reflected the energy and emotion of Bully were The Killing of a Chinese Bookie and Nil By Mouth. Both of these films have very erratic camera moves, as well as framing that sometimes seems improper. While it took me a minute to adjust to these ideas, (my hero Vittorio Storraro, A.S.C. would not approve), I soon began to understand that there is a certain uneasiness that is created by the camera not being locked to a dolly or tripod that is transmitted to the audience subconsciously. While it may look rushed or amateurish (OUCH!) most of the shots in this movie Were composed by Larry and myself to affect, and, by the way, the spinning shot was rushed, as there was a thunderstorm approaching in the next 10 minutes. (remember the scene had seven people in it, how would you have covered them in 10 min? A wide shot??? :) Anyway, I hope some of this makes sense because I love the movie and Larry and I would like for you to understand why we made these decisions. Thank you for your honesty" - Steve Gainer, Cinematographer of Bully Art? Like Those Dogs Playing Poker Pictures? "Thank god a critic that finally isn't just looking at the plot of a movie, the value and art, and other pompous crap. You looked at the movie for its pure entertainment value, which then again is basically the only thing that matters in the end." - Anonymous, Re: Jackass God's Lonely Critic "I wanted to write and thank you for kind of sticking up for my movie: God's Lonely Man. Although you didn't really seem to love it, you defended it in a very honest and insightful manner and I really appreciate it-- thank you. You also mentioned a picture that I have not States of Control, that you might think was partially inspired by mine. I'll check it out; sounds like I'll love it. Thanks again and I like your work." - Director Frank von Zerneck Jr. Don't Give Up -- We Love You! "A while ago, I had given up on good movies ever existing. Many review sites would only review the very hyped and popular movies, and rated all of them very well. But when I found Filmcritic it showed me I'm not the only one who thinks many movies suck. The problem is though, the films you give good reviews dont exist as far as I know. Films such as Das Experiment, and Nqoyquatsi are never shown at movie theaters (which apperently only play bad movies). I assume that this is because they are film festival movies, which are actually good sometimes, but no one ever sees. Is there any way I could see these movies without going to a film festival? Also, if they ever come out on video/dvd, would they appear in regular movie rental places, or some sort of special film festival movie store? Thanks for your help," - Andrew A Phrase to Remember "I very much enjoyed your review of Morvern Callar and, by the way, agree with your assessment. I, too, found myself disturbed by what I think of a lack of emotional/moral connection. This phrase, "..it's lead character sleepwalks through an existential nightmare" is one I will remember." That Still Leaves 10% For Crap "I'm a movie buff and always looking around for good reviews. i think your site is awesome and 90% of your reviews are spot on. only ebert, berardinelli and joblo come close. I hope you keep writing reviews for a long time p.s. you're a gazillion times better than leonard maltin." - jawad Toddlers Against Star Trek "I wanted to know that I couldn't agree more with your review of Star Trek: Nemesis. I've been a fan of the various TV series, more or less, since I was little more than a toddler, I like to buy those AMC/Ertl models and put them together, etc., and I was thoroughly disgusted with this movie, except for one thing. I appreciate someone out there not kowtowing to the studio bribery that has befallen some of your number. Good luck to you, and keep up the good work." - Marcell J. Elsegood Good Point. He Was Right, Too. "I don't think you will get many nasty e-mails from people about your XXX review because 99% of the people that liked this movie can't read." - Anonymous Napping Is Not a Crime "No, I'm not sending hate mail. Just thought you would want to know I agree whole heartedly (then again I'm in my mid 20's) anyways, just so you feel better I actually did fall asleep during XXX, somewhere in the vicinity of the snowboard scene . . . And I am not narcoleptic, and it was 1:30 in the afternoon." - Gregg Alguire Haters of the World Unite! "Your feature on hate mail is the funniest goddamn thing I've read all year (the idiot hate mail, not your responses). It's so funny how the general public seems to take so much offense when critics lambast the tripe that they're going to see. I can' count how many times people have put me on the defensive over shit like the movies you mentioned (Gladiator, A NIght at the Roxbury, Anywhere but Here, Ya Ya Talkeyhood...isn't it funny that what gets defined as "women's pictures" are the most reductive, sexist products on the market). Anyway, there's so much here I'd love to comment on, but if you're reading me singing the praises of your terrific article, I'm taking away your valuable hate-mail reading time." - Richard A. Curnutte, Jr., Editor, The Film Journal The Mediocrity of David Gale "I can only agree with your savaging of The Life of David Gale, except that I must be a little slow because I needed 45 minutes for the ending to leap to mind. After that I had to wait out the rest of the movie not being able to muscle one iota of the usual genre tension. I was uttterly astounded by the predictability of this mediocre film. I came away from The Life of David Gale cursing the California film establishment--yet again. I hate to see people make money from such a chop job. But we all know that the writer and director will work again. Too bad some creative folks with a sense of integrity couldn't have handled the project, instead. Color me bored." - G. Miki Hayden What's Tomorrow? "hi christopher, as you can tell i am not a user of modern technology. i am not sure who to write but i love the movie The Best Man written by malcom d lee. i feel this is one of the best african american movies ever made for entertainment. i have always wanted to be an actress. my parents asked me to go into medicine so i became a pharmacist. now i am a vice president for citigroup in clayton mo. i love movies and broadway. i have watched movies over an over and over. I The Best Man. could you please tell me how to write to Mr. malcolm lee to thank him for an outstanding movie and also tell me how i can become a critic. TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE." -val ENTirely Our Pleasure "Thank you for capturing ENT-irely why I was disappointed with The Two Towers." - Anonymous What's Next: Fraggle Hobbits? "This is almost labyrinth stuff? Hahahahahaha! I just pissed off my entire office with my outburst of laughter at that little segment of truth. Talk about hitting the nail on the head, your review was excruciatingly wonderful to read. And yet to be completely honest, I'll probably see it three more times anyways. Or maybe I'll just watch the Animated version.... :)" - Joel in LA (re: The Two Towers) We Try And Keep It On the Level "I just had to write to tell you how your review for The Two Towers is completely on target. I usually don't look to critics for feedback (if I like or don't like a movie is good enough) but when I left for the opening Tues. late night showing of the new LOTR after a year of anticipation and came home entertained but disappointed overall, I had to look and see if someone out there felt the same plot "limbo" that I did. Look no further than Yahoo Movies. Most reviews, from movie critic and consumer alike, were four and five stars--citing battles and special effects mostly. Anyone who cared at all about quality character development and unity of purpose in a movie was left hungry and their hopes for salvaging the quality that Fellowship brought to the screen were left to fall solely on Return of the King--not something you should have to feel in a trilogy of this caliber. It seems as if many of your colleagues at other venues found it necessary to jump on the hype bandwagon instead of providing expert opinions, their analyses sounding much more like movie advertisements than genuine criticisms. Your fair and balanced review reflected both the amazingly good and the more dissappointing aspects of the movie with style." - Angela Spry Two Heavy "I've just read your review of The Two Towers and I wanted to compliment you on the depth of insight and observation. I've read the Trilogy 4 times over the last 30 years and was awaiting Peter Jackson's film series with tremendous expectation and, not a little, trepidation. He far exceeded my expectations with Fellowship, so I was approaching The Two Towerswith unrealistically high expectations. I enjoyed the film, but left feeling somewhat burned out and disappointed. Thinking about it at length, revealed why. The film was a little too long, the ents were lame, and the altered relationship with Faramir was simply a wrong digression from Tolkien's vision. In any event, you're the first critic to make these points, so I congratulate you on your analysis. Just goes to show that Jackson's great, but he IS only human. Keep up the good work." - Joe Pearson, Heavy Metal Magazine Don't Tell Marshall or He'll Cap You "I know you must be busy so won't ramble on. Thanks for your incisive assault on Chicago. I loathe this film totally. I loved Moulin Rouge last year and put off going to Chicago because I just knew I would detest it.It had all the elements to be a mess,not least of which was a collection of total scumbags as all the characters. But in the interest of fairness I went on the off chance I may be missing a good film. My main problem was the disdain I felt for all the characters so that they could have been the greatest performers in the world and Rob Marshall the best director, and I still would have had problems with it, but thankfully as you have succinctly pointed out, I was not forced to weigh artistic merit against moral contempt. This was just a really poor movie on just about all levels and now I just am trying to understand what everyone else seems so elated about.Its a complete mystery to me. Thanks again for your review. Made me feel better in my dislike for this thing." - Doug Figgins Next Time Try Staying Home "I LOVED your review of Chicago and agreed with every word. The credits at the end say the stars did all their own singing and dancing, but who can tell after their efforts have been chopped up into little bits and pieces in the editing room? This movie appears to have been spliced together with precision surgical instruments. In the "good old days," you knew that Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, etc. (and even performers not noted for being hoofers, like Frank Sinatra) were really dancing because the camera stayed on them for long takes and photographed them from head to toe. I can't believe all the raves for this movie. Like you, it left me with a headache. I found that putting some tissue in my ears during the showing helped muffle the roaring sound, which would have left me deafened me otherwise. Thanks!" - John Mankin Rewrites Wild! "I read Joshua's review for my first produced screenplay and I must totally agree. What MGM and Scott Kalvert did with Deuces Wild was disasterous. I would love to introduce a forum where screenwriters could post their original (and most likely) superior draft of the movie for readers perusal. In the case of Deuces Wild, Larry Gleason, who was head of distribution at MGM at the time, hired his daughter, not a writer, to rewrite the Deuces Wild script. It became a jumbled mess and not 10 percent of the movie it was supposed to be. Viewers and reviewers should know this and be able to read the film the way it was originally intended to play. Let me know if you are interested, as I have a bunch of friends who are screenwriters and are tired of having their material "destroyed" for the wrong reason. You run a great site! Keep it up man." - Chris Gambale 101 Ways to Be Gentle "Ouch! for your review, though there are some points I wholeheartedly agree with. I shudder to think what would happen if I had to review the film myself, but I'm saving up my rants for the Criterion DVD. - Jennifer Katz, Director of 101 Ways Once Bitten "You are brilliant. I was was of the ones that walked out of Spider, after I woke up. But I'm not sure if it was sugar shock, or the film that put me to sleep. Yes i do, it was the film, if you can call it that, it was more like a 'still' than a film. THANKS for going against popular opinion. Imagine, an 88% ON RT. And I LOVE 'slow' movies, but not boring ones." - Leonard Buschel Motorcycles, Like, Rock "I have been riding for 8 years, and the underground cycle clubs are not even close to the stupid movie I had just seen. this movie is some what embarassing, the tricks in the movie are very real and performed daily by myself and friends, there are over 400 members in the Dallas, TX area with skillz. never once have we ever ever ever raced on a dumb a** dirt road, the matter of the fact is we frown on any type of dirt, pebbles, debri on pavment. the motorcyclist in dallas are very caring toward another cyclist and will help another when brokedown are fell down. i hope this movie bombs.the fast and the furious was a much much better movie than this stupid movie and I dont even drive an import....z28 all the way baby and gsxr 750 01..........peace!" - Anonymous, re: Biker Boyz XXXtreme Fan Mail "Bravo. I'm 18 years old and I like extreme sports as much as the next guy (er, "dude"). Hey, I even liked Fast And The Furious--say what you will about the acting and plot, the cinemotography was brilliant (if the first 20 minutes, plus chase scenes, were expanded to cover 90 minutes you'd at least have a seriously good documentary). But movies like XXX show that Hollywood is trying way too hard to sell to a demographic. The skater punk, high-school dropout, financially-dependent, sex-crazed, fake-ebonics-speaking slacker demographic, to be precise. What the hell's going on here? Does my generation really buy into this overhyped, witless crap? Movies like The Matrix prove that an intelligent flick can catch on with today's youth while still containing stylized and great action scenes. And movies like Die Hard have proven that sometimes the best action hero is an Everyman against impossible odds, not some superhuman athlete. I congradulate you for your ability to see through the smoke and mirrors, and take solace in the fact that there are some teens out there that don't find XXX to be ideal cinema." - Njalanti@aol.com Wherein the Mindset of the Dude, Where's My Car? Fan Is Revealed "Man i have to tell you....Thank you for editing this movie (or whatever u do) ITS A HELL OF FUN TO WATCH.......i laghed especially when the nerodic nerds were being copied by the "hot chicks" and at the end one of them sais "stop coping us" then the hot chicks said "stop coping us" then once they did that again....on of the nerodic nerds said "bit**". Well u probably know that since you are one of the cre that made the show.....ell i hope u guys make another funny movie just like this...(with my favorite actor "the guy that played Chester"! - drone_emporer@hotmail.com It's Cuz We Like Naked Chicks Getting Cut Up "Wow! What a great way to start the day! Thank you so much for your kind words on my film Slashers, it's really appreciated. Getting such a nice review is a big moral booster. If ever you want an interview or anything, it would be my pleasure." - Maurice Devereaux, Writer/Director of Slashers Best News I Heard All Day "I like you, you are a swell guy. Good job. Do not be alarmed, I am not a stalker." - Brett Coombs Wait, You Like Country Music? "Thank you for finally getting it right about Altman's Nashville! I loved Short Cuts and The Player and saw that Siskel and Ebert both picked Nashville as the best film of 1975 and thought I would be in for a treat. My God, what flaccid crap. And I like country music. I suppose Altman deserves some praise for defying convention in multiple storylines, overlapping dialogue, etc., but this was less compelling than an OSHA workplace safety video. Good work." - David J. Berestka Steve, See Right ---> "Just curious. How often do you get alot of flame emails for your reviews on movies? The reason why I'm asking is because, why do these people think Fellowship of the Ring is the most important thing in their lives, when, there's many, many more important things in their(and everybody else's too) everydays lives. like their loved ones, their jobs, and going out and laughing, and having fun. so what, if this is one of the best selling novels of all time, no movie shouldn't have that much of an impact on anybody's lives. and why the heck do they have to overract, just because you, or anybody else, has an opinion on it? I mean, really. it's as if, even if their loved ones had to be rushed to the hospital, they would still screw them over ad see this movie, which is just plain sad." - Steve For the Last Time, 3 1/2 Stars = Positive Rating "I read your review on one of my most favorite movies. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. That was my favorite movie of all time. That is what LOTR stands for in my e-mail address. Why didn't you like this movie? Did you like the actors? When I went on Ebert and Roeper they did not like the actors. Do you agree? I read the books over and over and over and the actors did wonderful. This movie is just one of the greatest movies ever. I think the second and third will be even better. What bothered you the most about this movie? What are some of your favorite movies? Thank you for your time! BYE BYE" - LOTR6@prodigy.net Objectivity? Everyone Else Says We're "Biased" "Mr. Null, I wanted to respond to your critique of my most awaited feature film with a great big THANK YOU! finally a review that reaches beyond the ecstatic fervor of fandom and with a keen eye spends more than a passing moment on the film's shortcommings. more than anything i want this to be an enjoyable picture, meanwhile the numerous glowing reviews bloat my expectations to unattainable heights. it's the tempered words of objectivity that tether my hopes firmly to the ground. here's to realizing a bit of grand fantasy on the big screen!" - Robert Romero Jr., re: Lord of the Rings Bored of the Rings "My name is Michelle Alexandria, I run EclipseMagazine.com and just read your review of Lord of the Rings. Thought it was fabulous and dead on, I would disagree about the giant troll - he looked pretty cheesy to me." - Michelle Alexandria 94% Crap, That Is "Mr. Null You have it right on Insomnia. The clue came in the first scene when the pilot tells the cops to get ready for some more heavy turbulence, and the next shot from behind the plane shows it flying smoothly. This is a very bad movie. I don't believe Pacino in his role. And Hillary was grossly miscast. Robin was fine. A waste of time and money. The log scene was so phony, and none of the people in my theater reacted at all. If I had know it was a remake, I would have rented the original You right about the comparison to The Sweet Hereafter! Thanks for calling 'em like you see 'em, and what's with the ridiculous 94% rating on Rotten Tomatoes." - Leonard Buschel Why Let Reality Get in the Way of Your Movie? "Saw Insomnia yesterday with my husband. Yours was the first honest review I've read. I agreed with almost everything, particularly your comments on Al Pacino's acting. I would add that the sound was terrible - couldn't pick up a lot of the conversation in most of the movie. We were both very disappointed in this movie since we had read other reviews that were highly favorable. We are both former long-term Alaskans and found the Alaskan scenes, with the exception of the opening flyover of the glaciers (which was actually filmed in Alaska - gee!!) to be more reminiscent of southeast Alaska (almost filmed there, since Stewart, B.C. is close) where daylight does not occur 24 hours a day. Nightmute and Umqumiut are very barren Native areas on Nelson Island - no resemblance to the mountainous areas of lush foilage depicted in the movie. Moviemakers will probably cry artistic license and budget limitations, but it would help if some reality were connected with the setting. What did I like about the movie? The theme - light (the midnight sun) revealing truth. And the score. I'll leave it at that." - Sue McWilliams Prinze Among Men "Considering that I am a teen, imagine how overjoyed I was when I read your more-than-favorable review of American Pie 2. Now consider that I am a part-time film critic and I work for the Sun-Sentinel's Teentime section (The Sun-Sentinel is based in Ft. Lauderdale Florida. The above is true). I'm not writing this email to bust your balls over the film, but to praise the fact that other critics are truly in touch with this movie.... It's nice to know that film critics aren't getting to be old and crotchety bastards who complain about every teen film that is out there. It's great to see a film like this that isn't like that Freddy Prinze, Jr. goody-goody garbage.... Before I babble myself to stupidity, I'll stop here. Thanks for being one of the great Internet critics who have decided to just have fun with this movie instead of nitpicking at every little detail." - Rory L. Aronsky America, Definitely "Where is the best place to begin, in Europa or in America, as an amateur porn actor?" - Kristinn Freyr Kristinsson We're Guessing This is About Gone in 60 Seconds "hey, what's up man? was wondering how much did it cost to buy and then wreck all those cars. b/c i know with the money i spent on mine there is no way i would let it be crashed unless you payed me alot of money for it." - Dfmadman Will the Real Dave Banks Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up, Please Stand Up... "I think your review on Tomb Raider was really good.... NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH ABOUT THE MOVIE BECAUSE IT IS BETTER THAN YOU COULD EVER DO. SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP WITH YOUR GAY COMMENTS. PS SAYING STUFF ABOUT THINGS PEOPLE PUT HARD WORK INTO IS GAY AND STUPID." - "Dave Banks" "Please disregard the original comment. It was made by my daughter when she was unsupervised on the computer. We do not condone using the InterNet to send messages like that. There will be no further communication on this." - Dave Banks Frankly, We'd Have Said the Same Thing... "Dear Christopher, Re: Moulin Rouge. You are a man after my own heart - my only issue with your review is that you seem to have forgotten half a star. MR is more than a film - it's an experience and as an Australian filmmaker, I got to say, 'Hail, Baz! Full of everything good that there is to find in a cinema!" I also had to laugh when you say that you pull no punches regarding e-mail returns. I went to The Movie Show site and there were all these dolts complaining that the editing was too fast in MR. among other daft and dead personly comments. I went through the site leaving rude messages such as - 'I have heard the brain can take in about six billion pieces of information per second. Perhaps yours is defective'. Oh, yes, I did happen to say that one of them ahem... a dolt. It just popped out. So I went back last night. And they have all turned on me like a pack of wolves. One told me to get a life. I left another message saying that I was hurt by their criticism." - Christine Langtree And He Loves You! "i love super dave" - 96oshama No, He Doesn't Write that Well "Hey, I was just surfing through the net and I came across this. I really don't have anything to say about it, but I did want to say this: My brother has the same exact name as you. In fact, I did a doubletake wondering if it was really him. But, 1)He doesn't write that good and 2)He's not married. Take care!" - Patrick Null Try gates@microsoft.com "Serious Message How do I send a message to the people who made X-men the movie to make another one with many characters from the Cartoon??" - Ramon Brooks Let's Live, Baby "See, I lived in Dallas during Waco....it was amazing...first perceptions, crazy fucks, out of hand religous zealots. How right and wrong everyone was. The brilliant piece by Gazecki Waco demonstrates what happens when hollywood is not involved...its real. And you know, really know, its one of the scariest government actions in some time...lets live." - res08acv Didn't Realize There Was Any Confusion Over This Topic, But We're Still Impressed With the Letter "Why House on Haunted Hill Was a Crappy Movie: A Movie View by Ned Thorne 1. Why would someone choose a former asylum for the criminally insane, which is by itself a creepy place, but which had also been the scene of several dozen grisly murders and incineration, as a place to live? 2. How come even though Watson Pritchett knows that the house is really, really, evil, and that it's going to kill them all, he willingly rents it out for birthday parties? 3. We never get to find out who the hell all these people are. What is their role in society? 4. Why do Evelyn and Steven hate each other so much? This is never explored. 5. Why does Steven shred Evelyn's party guest list, why does he hold the party in the House, and who did he originally invite? 6. What's the deal with the House? Is it haunted by the ghosts of the mad Dr. Vennaken and the inmates, or by something along the lines of pure evil (as is the case with a lot of movies like this)? 7. How did the evil get in to the house? Was is the contractors? Did they say, "oh, and don't forget to install the evil! It goes right behind the insulation. And remember to make the walls extra-thin, so that the evil can burst through them easily." 8. Why was the House revered as "L.A.'s most respected medical institute" when it was so obviously messed up? Take a look at the place! 9. Why didn't the characters go up to the attic in the first place to try to escape? 10. After realizing during their first sortie into the basement that there was no control room that would fix everything, why did the characters keep going down there, where the evil so obviously lurked? (You will notice that there are several "regroupings" during the course of the film, in which the characters are just sitting around in the living room.) 11. What did Steven actually plan? Why did he keep going to talk with that control room guy? If he never planned to kill anyone, did he expect them to leave or something? Why did he offer them a million dollars? It is obvious that he didn't create the evil stuff, but what did he have planned? Whatever it was, it apparently didn't work, except, I suppose, for that first window breaking right when everyone arrives. 12. Why didn't the characters assume that, taking into account the copious amount of blood that no human could ever lose and survive, and the evidence on video, the video toting girl (what was her name again?) was dead? 13. Why did Evelyn suddenly turn nasty? What was she planning that didn't go so well? What did Donald Blackmore have to do with Evelyn's plan? The most I could make of it was this: Evelyn hates her husband, so she decides to do him in. She and Donald Blackmore, her lover, it seems, need to make it look like Steven's been killing people, so that the other people (who are given firearms for absolutely no reason at all, other than to make some noise in the theater) will end up shooting him. But, she confides to Donald, we need another body to create more evidence. Then she stabs him repeatedly with a pair of scissors or something. Why? If he was her lover, why the hell did she kill him? 14. It's an incredible coincidence that Evelyn and her husband are both descendents of the survivors of the 1931 murders. Also, if the House changed the list to get the descendents, isn't it incredible that a) they all happen to live in the L.A. area and b) Donald is there? If he's a descendent as well as Evelyn's lover, that's amazing, but if he's not a descendent, what's he doing there? 15. Did Evelyn cut off Donald's head and put him in the schizophrenia tank, or was that the House? 16. Who killed the control room guy? The House? 17. Why do the characters spend so much time standing and staring at the approaching black evil smoke, when they should be booking it down the hall? Watson Pritchett stared at it and promptly got sucked in. 18. Why is it that, even though the other people who are killed by the evil (Steven, Video Girl, Donald [well, actually by Evelyn {was she possessed or something?}] and Steven) are assimilated into the black smoke (a rip off of Leviathan and John Carpenter's The Thing, along with several others) Watson suddenly shows up at the last second to save the day, as a cheery orangy ghost? 19. Why, after showing no pretenses whatsoever in its previous appearances, does the black smoke stop for a good twenty or thirty seconds to gloat over the black dude (can't remember his name, either. Was it Billy?)? 20. If Watson was the owner of the House, and he knows all about it (especially that it's really, really, evil and that it's going to kill everyone, as he explains in the beginning), how come he didn't know about that convenient lever in the attic that would have opened the doors and saved everybody? Why didn't he lead them all up there instead of taking them down the scary, evil basement? I admit there is a possible solution: the lever only opens that one door in the attic, and not all the rest, and it's rather hard to get down from that door. But we never find out the extent of the lever's influence! 21. How the hell did the envelope with the million dollar checks get under the steel door at the end? Who put it there? Watson? He was a ghost. Steven? He was sucked up by the black smoke. What's the deal? 22. What's up with Steven's hallucination? Why does he see the naked body of Video Girl spewing blood underwater? Why don't those goggles (which were under a sign saying, "In case of severe psychological trauma, put these on") help? 23. Why does Evelyn, like the others, just lay there when the black smoke is coming for her, and not get the hell out of there? 24. Why was such a rotten script made into a movie in the first place? Why did an actor like Geoffrey Rush sign? Maybe he was possessed by he spirits of the House (or maybe just bad taste). The last line says it all for cheesy writing (not the good kind of cheesy like Evil Dead and Army of Darkness by Sam Raimi, but the bad kind): Sarah and Billy(?) are sitting on a ledge outside the attic, having narrowly escaped the black smoke (with the cheery help of Watson's orangy ghost). They find an envelope inexplicably present under the steel door, and it contains Steven's million dollar checks. They start laughing really unconvincingly. Billy - "Now that was one hell of a party!" Sarah - "Uh, how are we going to get down from here?" Crappy! DIAGNOSIS: This movie is an insult to cinema. It wasn't scary, the plot was incomprehensible, the special effects were far from cutting edge, and the writing was awful. It was basically a rehash of Event Horizon, which was itself a mixture of The Shining and Aliens, and wasn't very good either (though more enjoyable than this, mostly because of better acting and writing, and effects). The acting was insipid, with only Geoffery Rush and Chris Kattan standing out as having any real character to portray, where the others are merely gore fuel. Speaking of which, the filmmakers have a real unhealthy thing for gore, naked dead people, necrophilia, displayed guts, and bad filmmaking. The swearing was completely inane, especially on the part of Evelyn: "Well, un-fucking-believable!" One was think that perhaps this was a parody of a bad movie, possibly making light of the fact that the original HOHH was sort of a "B" horror film from the 50's. Instead, we find a gross, stupid, dreary, boring, and in practically all ways terrible film that isn't "so bad that it's funny," like Evil Dead or Plan Nine From Outer Space, but just plain bad. If you're in the mood for gore and ghosts and "psychological terror," (though there's nothing psychological about this film except Steven's disgusting voyage to trip-out city), rent Event Horizon. That film, at least, had characters, a discernable plot, and interesting stuff about it. This film is an example of the sorrowful state of today's directors, some of whom obviously believe that we want to see crap like this as entertainment. Unfortunately, there are some people out there who will actually pay to see it. I only went because my friend's brother is in it (Chris Kattan, who played Watson Pritchett), and I used a free pass to the movie theater. They didn't get my money! Do yourself a favor and do not see this film unless you are as screwed up as the filmmakers. Of course, if you were that sick, they might put you in the House to "cure" you with electrotherapy, unnecessary surgery, and all that fun stuff. You've been warned. Thanks!" - Ned Thorne First, Change Your Name "Hi I just e-mailed you about the movie Coyote Ugly... If I didn't already tell you, my name is Sydney Gay. It has been my childhood dream to become an actress and I was wondering if you had any connections with Hollywood and casting directors. If you do have those connections could you please tell me when they are holding auditions for a movie with a teenager role? I am 14 and I have no problem talking to people I don't know or performing in front of people. But if you aren't associated with that part of Hollywood then nevermind. But if you do know someone with connections could you hook me up?? Thanks!!!" - Sydney Gay Go Into Rehab and the Critics Can't Touch You Anymore! "You-person-type-thing, I enjoyed your review of Charlie's Angels. Of the soft, adoring reviews I've read so far (oh, who would DARE say something nasty or bad about our girl Drew Barrymore....she's just so precious), I was sooooo thankful when I came across YOUR review. Thank god (well, I don't believe in him, but that's beside the point). How do people put out such dreck and want us to believe it's quality? Call me crazy, but I rather enjoy "good" filmaking. Not cereal-box, mass-produced, commercial junk food. Admittedly, a "popcorn" movie is good once in a while (that's why my heart will always be with any of the Godzilla movies...well, most of 'em anyway....because you can tell that there is "heart" in the movie, it is made with love of the subject matter), but I do have a few more expectations than constant remakes of outdated "classics" (as if we weren't tired of the original by the time it got cancelled). Anyway, my point is (yes, I do have one) that I'm glad that you begged to differ on your review of this movie, because I certainly agree with you. I think the other critics must have been sidetracked by the T&A. Critically yours," - Jeannie Proudly Bashing the Classics Since 1995 "Dear Christopher, Re: Nashville, I saw it on the weekend - having felt guilty for years for not having seen the "must-see" - and want to thank you for your review with which I wholeheartedly agree. I was more bored than I could have imagined! The insoucience of the people at the film's end mirrored mine, such was my exhaustion. All the things that are allegedly great about Nashville are fantastic in Short Cuts. Maybe those that love Nashville have failed to see Short Cuts? Regards," - Rachel Like, No Shit, Dude! "Dude, talking porn with Alicia Witt!!! She wanted you!" - Scott Fingerhut You Have a Computer in the Bathroom? "Dear Sir: I sit on the can and read movie reviews. And, I know something about reviewers, editors, publishers, manuscript screeners, script decipherers, et al. I have, and am currently involved with these folks -- its how I make money. Groovy. Anyway, what gill-netting film reviews I read in the Sacramento Bee could fill an ocean with dead marinelife. As an audiophile, I was warmed to the reviews of High Fidelity and vowed to make the rent and see it. In 114 minutes I formed a boil. Although I could not sit through the entire 'swelling,' I stopped the tape before I blew all over stereo cabinet. Oh, what with the phony, incessant smoking of cigarettes and the flowing 'fuck' words. Ahh, the esoteric recording artists and the contrived 'wonder' at rapt enthrallment of the skateboarders first 'hit.' UhhGGGGGGG. Ad puke to the purging of a pus-filled, well....So, ticked at this sludge, I wanted to rewind the bandage and include a note in the phony plastic case -- to the next debauched idiot that thought this was worth paying for. Irritated, I decided to go to the computer, punch-in www.filmcritic.com, and see if one existed. If it did not, I was going to register the name myself and turn my vituperations into Internet electrons. You have saved me some time, angst, and money. Your review hit my needy systemic like a 'fix.' Much Obliged," Steve Summerville Fan Mail / Hate Mail Page 1 Fan Mail / Hate Mail Page 3 |  | ...and the hate mail. Understatement of the Year "The movie ROCKS. YOU SUCK. (I agree, this is not eloquent.)" - Anonymous, regarding what is unknown Second Thoughts "Hey Dave! You suck! How can you possible feel that American Psycho is a bad movie? You must be an asshole! No, fuck it. You are an asshole. Write me back and tell me what you think Christian Bale's performance if you think everything was bad you fucking dick." - Anonymous You'll Have My Musket Replica When You Pry It From My Playing-Dead Fingers "You wouldn't know a good movie if it hit you in the face. Secondly, you need to attend a civil war reenactment to see the truth of the matter. What we do we do for FREE to educate the public. What you do you get PAID for and I wouldn't pay you for this review. I bet you are one of those that passes by a reenactment in the car and never stops to check it out. To bad for you. Good for us. I bet you don't even know your family history. Most of us reenactors do. If this movie isn't gory enough for you then go see Halloween. Mr. Maxwell has made a film that you can take your children to. Sorry there isn't enough sex and blood shed for you. Tough." - Eweber, re: Gods and Generals Hilary Duff Fan Quotes Self "To be living history in the making is not possible. It is strictly an oxymoron. -Aaron Casteel- Hello, My name is Aaron. I went to movies.com to look at stuff about The Lizzie McGuire Movie that I saw on May 2, and I noticed that you rated it one star. I saw that, and I said to myself, How could anyone say that about such an awesome movie. I think your rating for The Lizzie McGuire Movie was totally assanine! You probably didnt even watch it. In my opinion, you shouldn't be a film critic. I thought The movie was the best ever. Also, Hilary Duff is an amazing actress, and she deserves more that one star for her movie. If I were you, I'd go see it again, and re-think your opinion on the movie. Hilary's #1 Fan" - Aaron Casteel Well, I Lived There for 18 Years... "I take extreme exception to your review of The Evening Star. Actually, I have no problem with your opinion of the movie, I did find it to be tearjerky, and really hammy and plotless. What I do have a problem with are your first and last sentences. First of all, the Gulf of Mexico is not "horribly polluted." I should know. I am an environmental scientist here in Houston, and in fact, since I am one of the few people in my company with marine aquatic toxicology experience, I have been called to help out on several projects at our Alameda, California office, and there is no way you could get me to swim in that soup of dioxins, heavy metals, and fecal coliform bacterial you call the California coastline. I suppose you lept to the conclusion that the water in the Gulf is polluted because of the color. You would be wrong. The color comes from natural alluvial sediments, which are responsible for the creation of barrier islands. At the end you say the movie reminds you of why you hate Houston so much. That is a complete non sequiter, the rambling of an incoherent mind. What does the rambling nature of the movie have to do with Houston? I don't even recognize the spirit of what it is like to live in Houston at all in the movie. It could have been shot in LA and no one would have noticed. Second, exactly how much time have you spent in Houston that has given you such a wise and complete idea of what Houston is like. What is it exactly that you hate about Houston? The fact that it is warm and sunny and green all year round? Maybe that it has the largest theatre district in terms of seats outside of Manhattan? Is it that Houston has the finest medical care in the world? Could it be that Houston has some of the best restaurants in the country according to Conde Nast Traveller Magazine, and yet you can actually get into its best restaurants without being a celebrity or making a reservation 6 months in advance? Or maybe its that fact that Houston has the lowest cost of living of any of the 20 largest cities in America? I gather you are some sort of professional journalist. I thought journalists reported facts, not biased and unfounded assumptions. I guess it is true what they say: food critics are failed chefs, literary critics are failed writers, and you must have failed at your dream of being in the entertainment inddustry somehow." - Mark Myers Actually, I'd Say D-minus "I know that everyone has an opinon, but you have the most negitive comments on Star Trek Nemesis I have read. To be honest I'm supprised that you even gave it a D as baddly as you ridiculed the movie. It almost sounds to me that you have a personal vendeta with Star Trek all together, as if a exgirlfriend/boyfriend ditch you to go see the Wraff of Kaun. Well, as I said before, to all their own! You most likely didnt understand the movie anyway." - Cash I Think You Mean Topless Blonde-Haired Fool! "I am not surprised at your rating of the movie Drumline. I suppose it wasn't entertaining to you since there was no blonde-haired fool dominating the screen." - Shani Smith Me Too, Pal. Me Too. "Maybe you are right a 10 minute short is all that needs to be done to cover hundreds of years of opression of 40 million people. Sorry that you had to sit thru Amandla!" - Houston King Must've Been Napping "My name is Martin Edwards and I am the writer/director of All the Wrong Places, a film you recently thrashed on your website. I have no issue with your dislike of the film, but you are wrong to say it has no music. There is quite a bit of music - including two montages with music - and I have no idea how you missed it. In any case, regardless of your right to an opinion, I thought it was a poorly written review, with no attempt at real critical thought. The upside, however, is that I was mentioned in the same article as Whit Stillman, and for that, I thank you." - Martin Edwards Star Trek 4-Ever "Star Trek is not tapped out. Since Gene Roddenberry's death in 1991, complete fools have been thinking up stupidity en masse. Gene knew what Star Trek was supposed to be. The current producers do not. There are an infinite number of stories that are Star Trek. They simply wait for someone else to write. It's that simple. " - Anonymous This Sounds Like a Stunt for... Jackass! "The movie Jackass is about a buncvh of sick chorholed assholes. They truly are a bunch or cornholed assholes. I told my kid that if he watches it again before he is 18 that my foot will be up his ass and it I had the chance it wouod be up their ass to." - Anonymous He Only Wants the Good Reviews "ok. first of all if you didn't like the movie then thats finr, but to sit here and critize the actors and actresses please seriously, i kno that thats ur job to critize, but don't ruin it for others ok. im going to see the movie weither you like the movie or not. that is your personal opinon how you thought the movie went but understand that you have no right telling us the movie was horrible just because you didn't like it or have a good time. don't take this the wrong way but i really don't want to hear your bad critizem." - Anonymous, Re: How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days Love You Too, Sweetie "Dude you dont know what the fuck you are talking about with Vanilla Sky , there is no way that you could have ever figured out that movie, so why dont you just shut up and write somthing bad about another movie. Cold hearted mother fucker. Write back." - Pussy Even Morons Appreciate a Good Cry "I was severly disappointed in your review of The Life of David Gale. Not only did I find this to be one of the most entertaining films I have seen in a while, it also proved to be the most politically poignant. I think that your take on this film as garbage was completely uncalled for. You obviously have no talent for review and I wonder about your skills as a journalist; for all critics have at some point been journalists. You apparently have no such exoerience. Otherwise, you would know that this movie is incredibly relevant and I believe one that should be seen by all Americans. Read the news, Mr. Null. I am sure that your views would be brought up to date." - Miss Tiffany Norton What Do You Mean "Seem Like"? "You know, you seem like kind of a jerk. I'm certainly not going to argue that the Lizzie McGuire Movie is a work of art, especially since I haven't seen it. But maybe you should keep in mind that you're directing your harsh and bitter comments toward the star fo the movie, which is not only a CHILD, but a human being for Chrissake. Review the movie, not the child." - Michelle, mother of an 8 year old girl Scenes From the J. Lo Merchandising Front "I loved Maid in Manhattan,because it told the story from the working class people, like myself, who use the side entrance of a fancy hotel, and their limo is the subway. The MIM also showed an area of NYC, a borough of NYC, seldom shown, unless it's on the 6 o'clock news, reporting a murder. No Soho, No Tribeca, No Noho, No Gramercy Park and I loved it. Jennifer López was endearing, charasmatic, lovely and funny, she made the picture. The leading man had the personality of a dead dog, but you can't ask for everything. I liked the butler, he had dignity and more class than the people who employed him. I was prepared not to like the movie, and went only because my daughter dragged me to Kips Bay, but I was truly glad I saw it. I have never forgiven Jennifer for embarassing us with Puffy Combs, and refused to buy any of her stuff. But now I will buy her perfume, and the movie, when it comes out in DVD. All is forgiven, Jenny. Way to go, Girl!" - Doris Torres Wait, Someone Else Saw The Little Rascals!? "I did not agree w/ your review of The Little Rascals movie. I love the movie. It makes me laugh. The kids are great. There's humor in it that adults get - especially with the cameos. It was a lot better than the original. The outtakes are great too." - DazzlingAsia An Argument For Removing Computers From Schools "What up Nully in 2000 you wrote that the classic film entitiled Billy Madison was, "Yet another forgettable and asinine entry into the Adam Sandler oeuvre..." You obvisouly do not see the genious in this classic. Yes, I love the intellectual, "make you think", artsy, cliche symbolic movies as I am sure you are as well being in the business of picking the films apart...BUT LEARN TO RELAX AND LAUGH SOMETIMES CHRIS!! REALIZE WHAT IS FUNNY AND REDICULOUS IN LIFE! it wasnt meant for you critics to take it so damn serious. LAUGH DUDE! And no, i dont know why I am writing this. Well I love rotten tomatoes, and movies, as well as Billy Madison, and your review was listed in there. I figured "what the hell, let's see what he has to say back to me"...and here you are reading this. - Matthew Stevick, Villanova University God Likes Star Trek "u will burn in hell for insulting star trek nemesis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Anonymous Star Trek, Meet Crap "i am emailing you to tell you i dissagre with your evaluation of Star Trek Nemesis. It would seem that you do not understand what trek is all about. It is about love and compassion and humanity. So when you talk about Star Trek and crap in the same sentance, i begin to get offended. "When was the last time in a Trek movie the entire earth was not in danger?" --How about the previos movie! "Unfortunately, this is no longer the cast we used to love from the TV series. La Forge (LeVar Burton) has his eyes. Troi has her hair straightened. Once-humorless robot Data (Brent Spiner) can now sing, for God's sake."--If it were the same exact carachers it would be no fun. The characters EVOLVE and GROW, as real life people do. " Why have the Star Trek movies become such junk?"--If you think startrek is junk, i dont want to know what you think is good "Star Trek wouldn't be Star Trek without some kind of "message" for us, and in this case it's a watery something about self-improvement making us human."--watery?since when is self-improvement a watery trait? or maybe thats why you dont know a good movie when you see one" - trek fan FilmNapster.com? Mr Null, I don't believe I have ever read an entire review of yours that didn't bash a film for some reason or another. If it's not the length, it's the character development. If it's not character development, it's poor casting... and the story goes on and on... just like one of your reviews. I thought that a person became a film critic because they loved movies. It seems that once this may have been the case, but I think you have lost sight of that. Most people who venture from their homes on a Friday or Saturday night, want an escape from their routine; movies provide that. However, movies stop providing a place to escape for these individuals when they sit in the theater and ponder an interminably long, overly analytical review of the same film. I don't believe many people go see movies like X-Men 2 to xtrapolate ideas of a greater meaning for humanity, or to find parallels between the characters' and their own lives. I also don't think that most people worry about subplots, and James Marsden's screen time. What people want is entertainment. Thanks for basically stripping apart every movie I've seen after reading one of your reviews, and making the movies much less enjoyable. The MPAA blames online piracy for loss of profits in their industry, I think it might be people like you." - Anonymous We Agree With Your Final Point "I dunno, if you will care that i even wrote this e-mail since I am only a sixteen girl from a small town. I read your review on The Larmie Project and it mad me angry you would say such things about the movie. The first time I saw the movie it really moved me, and made me realize a lot of things about gay people and the life they live. I believe it was a terrible thing that happened to Larmie and I thought it was very touching that celbs got together to help express how Hate Crimes shouldn't happen and how everyone is equal. It really made me understand how many people are aganist gays. I just could't believe you would say such things about a movie that has such great message, the movie made me now take a second thought about gay people. I have bought the movie and have seen it several times and it still makes me cry every time I watch it, and I always learn something new. Then again I bet you would go raving about how a new action movie the best, which brings no message and just gives entertainment. The Larmie project is my the best movie I have ever seen in my life time, and I wish it was more popluar so everyone could watch it and see the message it is senging through. but hey then again its what I think, what do i know!!" - Anonymous Miami Is Anti-Semitic? "I'm 54, Jewish and the father of two teenaged boys. I also must confess that though I've often felt like it, I have never written to a film critic before. I'm probably wasting some very good electrons in this e-mail--not to mention my time--but I sincerely feel that your view of the message in Gentleman's Agreement as "...now 50+ year-old film has aged to the point of near-irrelevance" simply identifies you as hopelessly ignorant and potentially extremely dangerous. I assure you that if you spent a few months as a Jew as Gregory Peck did in the movie, you'd find that the message is every bit as relevant today than it was then. [Try any city in the East or South. I'd personally recommend Miami.] In many ways Gentleman's Agreement is more relevant today for 2 extremely important and related reasons. Firstly, it deals not with blatant anti-Semitism that was rampant after the war, but with the most subtle forms that are still VERY much with us today. As such, it is a much more potentially explosive problem today then it was 50 years ago. Jews living in Germany in 1930 felt every bit as secure as Jews do in the US today. They felt that what actually did occur was literally impossible as they also believed anti-Semitism was--at their time and place in history--at the "point of near-irrelevance". Had they grown up with blatant anti-Semitism as I or my father did, I sincerely believe the Holocaust would never have happened. It happened in large part because they forgot that anti-Semitism never dies and it is most dangerous when it moves underground. It is extremely sad to me that anyone as intelligent as you seem to be could be so ignorant of such danger. The second reason is related. That is that there is now a whole new generation of American Jews, who had never experienced the digestible, blatant forms of anti-Semitism that teaches one to always keep their guard up. As such the movie and its message is of extreme relevance today. I just finished watching the film with my 17-year-old son, who found the movie a real eye-opener. It was his genuine disgust at seeing your words that moved me to waste my time and write to you. I can only pray that well-meaning, but ignorant people like yourself wake up before it's too late. NEVER AGAIN! Have a nice day," - Allan Tischler, Ph.D. An Animatronic Seal Does the Hard Work, That's How "How could you diss Tuck Everlasting movie like that? This is my faverote movie and book, also Alexis Blendel and Johnathon Jackson are my faverote actors/ actresses also this movie is so meaningfull it says live your life don't waist it enjoy while your still on earth! Have you ever seen the show Boy Meets World? Well Johnathon Jackson is in 1 of thoose shows and is great, and what about Gilmore Girls Alexis Blendel is alsome!!!!! Well thats all I need to say think about what I said!!!!!" - Anonymous I Quote: "Dumbasses Are Unaware of the Fact They Are Dumbasses" "Mr. Null in your review you wrote "But the metaphysical nonsense of Identity is just too much to bear." Too much to bear? Don't you mean "bare"? Nothing worse than a condescending person with poor grammar. My advice would be don't run to the dictionary for words like "metaphysical" only to make yourself seem more intelligent. It only makes you look more like a dope, when you use "bear" in place of "bare". I didn't read your review, because you instantly lost credibilty with me when I read the "bear" tagline on Yahoo movies. But I did feel the need to come to your site and find your email, so I could let you know first hand that you were a dumbass. You see most dumbasses are unaware of the fact they are dumbasses. But now you're armed with the information that you in fact are a dumbass, so please plan accordingly. Might want to pick up a copy of Hooked On Phonics if you intend to make your reviews available for public consumption." - Robert Renfro Again, We Did Not Make The Movie! "Next time you better documented your self. In the scene with UN debate the Romanian Ambassador is gypsy. Shame on you. You offended millions of Romanians by placing a gypsy guy on it. What do you know about Romania? What do you know about those people? What do you want to show to the entire world? You guys are ridiculous, ignorant. We are disappointed about your attitude?" - Romeo; regarding what movie we don't really know Whoops, Too Bad the Movie Tanked I just want to tell you that I do not approve of the kind of demolition you did to the new Trek flick Nemesis. I have seen the movie and it's obvious to anyone that it doesn't diserve that kind of trashing, or a score of 1.5 for that matter. Your review makes you look like someone with a score to settle and does not befit a reviewer who is suppose to be neutral... The movie is actually pretty good...not a masterpiece mind you, but pretty entertaining nonetheless. I find it sad that you decided to put on a show like that just to spice up your review. Indeed, it's not the Star Trek franchise that should stop but your reviews!" - Daniel Desmeules 4 Out of 5 Trekkies Prefer Dumbness and Boredom Dear Mr Null...or should we say "Dull"? Who are you?...what have you ever done of any internationally acclaimed worth?...and why, Sir, do you exist? Don't critic, or even watch, Star Trek movies if you don't like their "dumb" plots and "bored" actors. For us true and loyal fans those are oversights. We sit to immerse ourselves in the ongoing fantasy, no matter how thin, that allows us all to forget for that 2hrs what a disasterous world we live in today... Bring on #11 Yours Boringly" - Craig Duncan, Sydney, Australia. Sorry, No-Hit Wonder |
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