(sung to the tune of Tom Green's "The Bum-Bum Song")

My bum is in the chair
My bum is in the chair
Look at me
I'm watching Tom Green's hair!

Tom plays Rip Torn's son
Tom plays Rip Torn's son
Once respectable? Rip, where's your career? (hee hee hee!)

Look at Tom, he's raw
Look at Tom, he's raw
Get a job?
No, he just wants to draw!

Watch Tom go berserk
Watch Tom go berserk
Stuff his face
Or give a horse a jerk!

An organ made of meat
Or a woman he can beat
They don't make much sense, but try not to worry too much about that!
A HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

They're walking out in droves
They're running for their cars
Don't look back
Away from here they go!

Hi my name is Tom
Hi my name is Tom
I can't tie my shoes but I can write a movie script!

Poo! Poo! (repeat)



Freddy got milk.*

* This scene not actually included in film.