Stop me if you've heard this one before: A mental patient (Larry Drake) terrorizes a comely doctor (Paulina Porizkova) in a mental asylum... and no one can get out!

The only thing clever about Dark Asylum is its casting of Judd Nelson as a fellow inmate who ends up helping Porizkova's doctor to escape "The Trasher," an obese and nearly mute psychopath who lives up to his moniker by destroying everything he touches... including his victims.

"Trapped in a building" movies are a dime a dozen, and this one isn't even worth its penny. The action is mediocre and repetitive. The acting is more akin to whining than delivering lines of dialogue. And the script borders on infantile. A cop actually yells "Holy squat!" when he encounters some of The Trasher's work. Porizkova's character sends a fax to her grandmother in an attempt to escape. It begins: "Grandma: I'm trapped in the Asylum!"

Me too, Paulina. Me too.