A little history on the Children of the Corn saga. When the original Children grossed $14.6 million on its $3 million budget back in 1984, the studio was probably pleased as punch, but no one expected the Stephen King-based flick (about Midwestern cult kids forced by a spirit to murder adults) to spawn a series. And in fact, it didn't. The Corn laid fallow until 1993, when a direct-to-video sequel (promising The Final Sacrifice) brought back those murderous kids.

Six films later, they're still at it, and they no longer bother to number the series (what with Children of the Corn 666 appearing two years ago, how do you follow that up?). This time out, poor Jamie (Claudette Mink) heads west in search of her missing grandma, only to discover the hotel she lived at is now overrun by children. You know... children of the corn. Powerful evil awakens -- in the form of corn -- Jamie fights it off.

Of course, none of this is remotely watchable, but my biggest beef is how the movie totally blows the first rule of horror flicks: If you toss a guy off the roof, make sure he gets impaled on something when he lands! Otherwise you're just wasting my time.