Just by looking at the cover you'll be able to figure out a fair amount of the content of Carolina. Sure, there will be a love triangle forming its central struggle, and a kindly old grandmother (Shirley MacLaine) will be on hand to dispense wisdom to young Carolina (Julia Stiles).

But will you guess that a major subplot will blatantly (and explicitly) rip off The Rocking Horse Winner? Or that MacLaine will spew a monologue about rubbing manure on her breasts? Wow. How could you?

Despite the appearance of Stiles, Carolina didn't muster a theatrical release in 2003, landing on DVD instead for your viewing pleasure. The story is C-grade rom-com: Carolina (all her sisters are also named after states -- it's quirky!) is unlucky in love. Fortunately she works at a video dating service, so when a handsome British lad (Edward Atterton) zips through, she figures she'll take a slice for herself. Never mind that she's got a guy friend (Alessandro Nivola) that she's so close with she's willing to take a bath with him in the room.

Well, you can probably see how this will end up, and sure enough Carolina's only surprise is that the appearance of Randy Quaid doesn't entirely ruin the film. A lame script and MacLaine's bizarre non-sequitur behavior manages to do that just fine.